I’ve been single for most of my adult life so I have mixed feelings about the whole dating thing – excitement that there might just be a perfect imperfect “soulmate” out there for me with perfect answers to my date questions that I stumble upon in the world in a meet-cute romantic comedy sort of way but also dread as I wade through all the “undesirables” and begin to think there isn’t really anyone out there on the same wavelength as me (and I ain’t settling).

It also gets so much more complicated dating as a Black woman in the States, as we having so very unique challenges to contend with in the dating world. Check out the (hilarious) podcast I co-host with one of my good friends – Happy Hour Husband Hunting – as we discuss just what those challenges are.

When I do go on dates, I think it’s really important to understand who the person is – and keep it entertaining and light so it doesn’t seem like a job interview. Vibin’ is important. Especially now during COVID-19 times when alot of dating hinges on virtual dates that really put the emphasis on talking and getting to know each other rather than the physical. Here are some things I would ask a date and hope I get some surprising answers:

Date Questions

  1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
    (Why: I’ve been to about 20 countries and I’m into people who are well traveled (= open-mindedness to other cultures IMO so this is important!)
  2. How would you describe yourself in three words?
    (Why: Just how self-aware are they? Only the self-aware IMO can be a great relationship partner)
  3. What do you think was the best decade: 80s, 90s, 00s. And what was your very favorite things you wore in that decade?
    (Why: Answer will be filed away so I can ask for pictures later)
  4. What are your top three favorite movies?
    (Why: I’m REALLY into films [I call them “films” and not “movies” so that should tell you how much of a film snob I am]. Bonus points if they include an independent film. Negative a lot of points if they say something like Fast & the Furious)
  5. What’s the weirdest bit of trivia you know? (Why: I’m weirdly into random facts because I love pop culture trivia. Curious to know if they know more than me….)
  6. What is your idea of the perfect date?
    (Why: Just how romantic are they? Also, did they plan this date in line with their perfect date?)
  7. If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what rule would you make?
    (Why: This could go so many ways and be so funny lol)

What do you think? Would you ask any of these date questions?

I’m curious – answer one of the questions above yourself and let me know if you have any go-to date questions. I would love to use some of yours, lol.

Also: A Sensual Poem: may i feel said he & Do You Regularly Hug Your Friends?

[Photo credit: Still from the film If Beale Street Could Talk]