It all started when my fellow 40-ish never married childfree Black single friend Kina asked out of the blue, how about we do a dating and relationship podcast? My response, why not?
Months prior we decided to be alittle more proactive in our search for husbands and actually schedule week days to attend happy hours around Atlanta with the sole purpose of finding eligible men (where are they???!?).
Needless to say, they were never successful but in between moments when we were waiting for attractive men to walk in and come over to flirt, we found out we had alot of laughs, agreements, conflicting views, and strong opinion around various topics. Perfect for a dating and relationship podcast. And that is when Husband Hunting Happy Hour came into being. It’s the private conversations between girlfriends that you get to listen in on.
Happy Hour Husband Hunting: Meet Your Hosts
Meet Kina, a DMV native, who relocated to Atlanta 7 years ago after the ending of a decade-long relationship. She has spent the last several years traversing the rocky waters of singledom in what she considers one of the most challenging cities for singles. Having spent a significant number of years on both sides of the fence, Kina brings relatable insights for single women in any stage of the game.
If she were to create an online dating profile, it would read: “Self-proclaimed foodie, live-music-lover, water baby, comedian and skincare enthusiast. The way to her heart is through honesty, loyalty, comedy and good food…there must always be good food.”
Meet Shala, a small town Louisiana native, who has been living in Atlanta for 17 years ever since moving there for graduate school at Emory. While in Atlanta, she has had no luck in love. Being single most of her adult life has afforded her the opportunity to observe other people’s relationships and note some of the red flags others miss or things people don’t consider when choosing a mate.
If she were to create an online dating profile, it would read something like this: “Self-proclaimed film snob, book lover, world traveler, daydreamer and trivia enthusiast. The way to her heart is through words of affirmation, witty banter, shared interests, and good, deep hugs.”
Happy Hour Husband Hunting: Season 1 Episodes
We just recently wrapped season 1! Take a look through our episode list and try out one of our episodes for size – available on your favorite podcast platform.
Ep 001: Meeting new people… but during COVID-19?
Inaugural episode! Drop in on Kina and Shala (two different kind of single) as we continue the hunt to find life partners as 40-ish black women. How are we expected to meet new people and date in the middle of this COVID-19 pandemic? A very timely question, but for two women like us who are not too keen on online dating, we will have to get creative while trying bypass all the Mr. Wrongs we meet.
In our segment “Date or Dash” we delve into what we would do if we were confronted with a date who is not exactly taking all the precautions he should during the pandemic.
Ep 002: Dating… but interracially?
It’s all about the swirl action on this episode of the Happy Hour Husband Hunting podcast. We are discussing all things interracial dating – our opinions on the pros and cons of choosing a partner outside our race and our perceptions on how different ethnic and cultural communities approach dating, committment, and marriage. Spoiler: One of us is really into the future prospect of interracial dating.
We also take a stab at creating fantasy (interracial) romantic pairings with our segment “Celebrity Matchmaking” because, obviously, celebrities could use our help. Come join in the fun.
Ep 003: Finding a partner… but with these prerequisites?
Let’s just be honest with ourselves and put it all on the table. Some say you shouldn’t have a “list” when looking for a partner, but we think differently. How else would you weed out the undesirables without wasting too much of your precious time?
It ain’t about being picky, it’s about being pragmatic, and in typical Happy Hour Husband Hunting fashion, we unpack these things, break them down, and laugh as we discuss our particular lists. We even look to the future in our segment “To My Future Husband, Forgive Me In Advance” because there are some things we just won’t do.
Ep 004: Fatherhood… but without husbandhood?
In this week’s episode, we delve into that age old question: deliberately fathering a child with no thought of real commitment – how exactly does that make sense? Seriously, as of late, we have noticed a growing subset of men who carry with them the strong desire to be involved fathers (we ain’t talking deadbeats) without that same level of excitement for long-term partnership or marriage.
We think these two things go hand-in-hand, but apparently some men disagree, and we can only speculate on the reasons why. You won’t want to miss our segment, “Rapid-fire Questioning” where off-the-cuff ‘dating and kids’ scenarios posed to each other leads to amusing (and surprising) responses.
Ep 005: Getting your attention… but with a pickup line?
Fellas, it’s all in the approach. No need for elaborate tall tales or corny one liners. Just a smile, a hello and a drink would do it. But men insist on doing the most. In this week’s episode, we discuss the art of the pick up – the lines and tactics men use to pique women’s interest and grab their attention – from recycled lines to dick pics – and why we think men so often rely on it all.
In our segment, “In Pop Culture” we illustrate how fame and money only enhances the potential for outrageousness. We also go to the source – men – and ask them to detail their approach and how it may (or may not) have changed through the years.
BONUS Ep: From the Mouths of Men
During our “art of the pickup confessional”, the men we interviewed turned the tables on us and dropped what their dating experiences have taught them about what women want as well as their advice on how they think women should conduct themselves while dating to guarantee the best returns. Take a listen.
Ep 006: Not being chosen… but based on complexion?
Sometimes people aren’t able to separate who they are attracted to from the preconceptions ingrained in them. Being “chosen” (or not) in the dating world could all come down to the complexion of your skin. In this episode we welcome our first guest, Sai, to lend us a hand as we talk colorism – the stereotypes people may attach to skin color, the impact and manifestations of colorism across cultures, and where this obsession with lighter skin being the standard of beauty may come from.
We share life experiences on how colorism has affected us personally and commiserate on how this presents yet another hurdle for us women of color in finding partners. Oh, and differentiating between skin tones may be a skill some of us just don’t have. In our segment called “If I Could Rule The World”, we provide our thoughts on how we would change the perceptions of skin color (spoiler: it’s very Lupita-centric).
Ep 007: Taking it public… but on social media?
Kina and Shala are individuals. And sometimes individuals have wildly differing opinions. This is one of those times. In this week’s episode, we examine the intersection of one’s dating life and social media life. How much do you share online and when? Do you at all? Is posting one photo together really such a big deal (one of us thinks so)?
Publicizing your relationship on social media has pros and cons, advantages and pitfalls, from the beginning stages right on through to the altar. One person’s celebration of their love life is another person’s trying too hard to prove a point. Some things you just can’t take back when it hits that social media feed. In our segment ‘Date or Dash’ we consider what it would be like to go out with someone who likes to document every date moment for the ‘gram.
Ep 008: Making it work…. but after cheating?
For some of us, having our partner stepping out on the relationship means we would be stepping away from it for good. For others, sometimes it’s just ain’t that simple. The proverbial “they” say once a cheater, always a cheater but could it be more complicated than that?
In this episode, we side-eye our way through supposed explanations like ‘there was something missing from the relationship” and “it was just a moment of weakness”. Let’s be honest; some men (and women) just see monogamy as a social construct and prefer to shoot their shot whenever they have the opportunity. This couldn’t be more evident than in our segment “In Pop Culture” ‘cuz Cardi B and Offset seemingly just can’t stop bringing us into their cheating (publicity stunt?) drama and reconciliations.
Ep 009: All single… but not the same
Singledom is not a monolith. And with these various types of singles come differing perspectives, expectations, and desires in regard to dating and relationships. In the quest to adequately assess all sides to the story, we have put together a panel of singles to spill the tea and give the lowdown on where they stand in their respective hunts – your cohosts Kina (single but not really) and Shala (perpetually single and looking) are joined by Marie (single and divorced with kids) and Dari (single but not looking?).
How do our single situations affect our dating swag? Find out this and more in this penultimate episode of the season.
Ep 010: Keeping it real…. but about sex
Let’s talk about sex, baby! It’s something that is on all our minds (let’s be real) – from kinks and fetishes to porn and masturbation, much of relationships are defined by sex and sexual compatibility. Many of these topics can feel taboo but it shouldn’t; we are all grown folks here.
In this finale of the season, Kina and Shala delve into questions like, is oral sex considered sex? Are sex tapes ever a good idea? And that age old question, spit or swallow? Along the way, we even learn some (surprising) things about each other… Hope you enjoyed this first season as much as we enjoyed making it.
Which episode was your fave? Have a hot take from one of our episodes? Would love to hear from you below.
We are back with Season 2 early 2021! Never miss an episode of this relationship podcast by subscribing on your favorite podcast platform and by following us on instagram @husbandhuntingpodcast.
P.S. Check out some unique, fun questions to ask on a date.
[Photo credit: Issa Rae for Google Voice Assistant]