Where do you stand on regularly hugging your friends?
I grew up in a family where regular hugging was not the norm. A highly affectionate family we were not, which of course, stayed with me as I got older. It was not until I left home for my last two years of my residential high school (I ditched my hometown school after the 10th grade in favor of a “gifted” school) that I was, in a way, living with teens who grew up much differently from me. A number of the close circle of friends I formed then were very physically demonstrative.
I remember it taking me by surprise when friends would regularly hug me hello and goodbye. Never to the point that I didn’t want to be touched, just, as I mentioned, it was a foreign concept to me. But then it became my norm, and upon graduating and entering the “real world” I took that with me.
I’m a Hugger
So yes, my name is Shala and I’m a hugger. As a woman in my late 30’s, I’m probably on the overly physically affectionate side, often instigating. Now I can’t see myself being any other way. It’s one way I want to share those around me that I care.
That’s one of the reasons I think COVID, hit me so hard. It was weird going months without having any physical contact with anyone since I live alone. For someone who does it so often, it’s weird to actually have a know, down to the day, when the last time I had a hug from someone. Bottom line, check on your friends that live alone because some of us are just not okay during this pandemic!
Touch Test
I know a lot of it is about how you grow up. It makes me wonder all the little personal things that drive a person’s view on this issue. Recently, a study was conducted in the UK (ending in March 2020, a week after the country’s COVID lockdown) to delve into just how much value interpersonal touch. The Touch Test, as it was called, uncovered some intereting patterns, including that alittle over 50% of those who participated don’t have enough touch in their lives.
Do you hug your friends regularly? Where were you consider yourself on the spectrum when you’re around your friends? Do you not like to be touched, don’t mind it, or are really affectionate? Has that changed from when you were a kid until now?
Also: 7 Date Questions You Can Ask On Date Night and Collected for You: 5 Things That Inspire Me This Week
[Photo credit: Still from the indie film Last Black Man in San Francisco]
Sam
Love this! Was never a hugger, but I’m slowly becoming one. ❤️
Shala
Welcome to the club 🙂
SamSnacksUK
I am, like you, very much a hugger of all my friends! It’s so weird having gone so long without hugging any of them. It’s weird now of seeing characters in TV shows / films hugging (filmed pre COVID) and makes me surprised every time!
Shala
It surprises me, too. All I can think of is COVID, lol.
Stephanie L.
I love hugs and miss them. My poor kids get lots of them right now.
Shala
<3 <3
Nathalia Basso
My love language is physical touch so I am DEFINITELY a hugger. This may also be why I love activities like acro yoga so much. I hug family, friends, I even hugged professors at my college graduation ceremonies on stage in front of everyone while other graduates mostly shook hands 🙂
Shala
My love language is also physical touch (along with words of affirmation)! So I feel you on that 🙂
Kate Tracy
I am definitely a hugger!! My family is big into hugs which has been hard during covid. I don’t have a lot of friends that seem to like hugs so I try to make my husband give them often!! 🙂 my dad grew up without hugs until college and like you he became big on hugs afterwards!!!
Shala
Yay! Hug club!
Ren
I never really thought about why i don’t like hugs from strangers. Thank you for this article! Makes me ponder on things.
Shala
:: shrug :: lol
Jessica
I grew up in a family very similar to yours, so I can relate to this post entirely. It wasn’t until I was in college that I had friends who liked to hug hello and goodbye. It caught me off guard at first, but now I think how much a friend must really care when they offer a hug. Loved this article.
Shala
Ahh so there is someone like me out there 🙂
Mihaela | https://theworldisanoyster.com/
Again, you can say this is the hardest part of this pandemic (other than actually being ill – I’ve been there, it’s pretty nasty!), especially for those who leave alone. I miss my friends, but I prefer to know everybody is well and often call rather than meeting for the time being. when this is over, I’ll probably be hugging everybody that comes my way on the street:))
Shala
Me too. Which is why I stay myself in the house because of social responsibility. Hope you’re much better after being ill!
Sandra Ans
I feel you very well! There was a time when for me, a hug, felt also foreign … but after I moved to another country, where people are more open, I changed my mind. And now hugs mean for me much more than ever! I love to hug my friends and family member because you can also never know when it will be the last time doing that!
Shala
You never know…